Bumper sticker of glory

Strange things are afoot at the Circle K

Oh my god the internet is fucking retarded. Just...just retarded. Also, I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but Fred Phelps is allowed the walk the Earth. And not like...Cain is allowed to walk the Earth. I mean he's not in prison, in one of those Hannibal Lecter rigs. What is with that? The man is so obviously deranged even my racist grandmother would take offense. And she's dead. How about that, hm?

On a lighter note, Jameson brand whiskey is so delicious. Like tasty in your mouth. That..doesn't make a lot of sense.

All hail President Frankenstein

So I come home from a not-very-good-but-not-horrible movie (Scary Movie Four. Or Scary Movie Vier... if you can only count in Dutch.) And my folks are out of town, somewhere south of the Mason-Dixon. Anyway, I open the door and my kitchen light is on and so is the TV in the living room. I poke my head into the living room and there's some goddamn people on my couch under a blanket. Who the fuck are these people, I ask myself. Oh...wait...Tim lives here again. Goddammit. If they boned on that couch I'm going to have him spayed.

"Man, it's so loud in here."

For your information, Six Flags (named for the six different nations that have held dominion over the territory of Texas) Great Adventure officially has more rides than any other theme park in the world. The whole fucking world. That's right. fuck off Kings Dominion. Screw you, Cedar Point. Knott's Berry Farm can kiss my ass. And Tokyo Disney is not even worth mentioning. But I did it anyway, because I know fuck all about amusement parks outside of the United States.

Teaching the internet

Simple lesson for today:
Your - belonging to you.
You're- you are
there- not here
their- belonging to them
they're- they are
u- a letter of the goddamn alphabet, not, as you may think "you"
r- another letter of the alphabet, you learned this in first grade. it is not "are"
grrl- I'm pretty sure I saw this in an episode of the live action Batman series. Pow, zap, grrl. It's not "girl" though.
boi- I don't know what you think this is, but it isn't "boy". No. No it isn't.

Getting your learn on for a better tomorrow

How soap works:

Soap doesn't get dirt off by "being slippery", although it is indeed slippery as a motherfucker. No, it gets dirt off by binding with the dirt better than the dirt is bound to your skin. And since soap is a slippery motherfucker, it's easy to wash away. But soap does not bind with protein based stains at all, which is why no matter how hard you scrub, blood won't wash off. This is always fun for those moments of pathos when a murderer looks at his or her bloodstained hands in a movie.

Also, chicken, swiss and avocado sandwiches are fucking awesome. Simply awesome.

Food store?

It's grocery store you fucking mongoloids. Jesus Christ!