All the sugar and twice the caffeine

I'm giving this new line of Jolt! sodas a taste test. Right now I'm trying their Ultra flavor. And I'm going to be honest with you... it tastes like someone spit in my Alka-Seltzer. This is vile.

Something incredibly offensive

I just watched the Pen& Teller BULLSHIT! episode about PETA. I have something to say on the matter. Man...fuck PETA. Meat is delicious and nutricious. Fur is tacky but who the fuck cares? And as for animal testing? Go ahead and hate me for this...but I would stomp on a box full of kittens on my way to kill the last endangered harp seal whose death would ensure the cure for cancer. Fuck animals. Pets are not people. They're furry little crap machines you let in your house. And if my family members are reading this..If you ever tell one of my future children that your dog is their "cousin" there will be words. Swear words. Oh yes.

On a lighter note, everyone has to go rent Everything Is Illuminated. It's really funny and touching. In a good way, not in a Father McFeeley way.

Bodywerks

Me: back. doing more than I thought...so while I burn, do we have a plan?
Sancho: yes
Sancho: zombies
Me: you son of a bitch. hehe
Sancho: hahahaha
Sancho: well, are you hungry?
Me: are we renting a movie. do you want to go see a movie?
Me: I ate pizza like an hour ago. but I can eat later.
Sancho: ok, same
Me: so I basically summed up human digestion for you. I'm smart. heh
Sancho: i have my sammich
Sancho: haha
Sancho: yes, yes you did
Me: this is way funnier to me than it should be.

Brotherhood

Quixote: Are there gay fraternities?

Sancho: Yes.

Quixote: How can you tell?

Sancho: Easy, track lighting.

Quixote: Fascinating

Fuck Vinyl

I'm referring to records. Fuck them. I don't care what you say, records are analog and therefore physically limited and imprecise. But you don't actually give a shit do you? No. They're fucking underground and better because they're older. Everyone wants to live in a fucking Wes Anderson movie. Well guess what you pretentious jackasses, from now on I'm going to one-up you. I'll only listen to music on wax cylinders. That's right. While you listen to re-issues of The Clash I'll be here listening to Johnny Wonderful's 3-piece band. You fucking sell-outs to the victriola conglomerates. You make me sick.

Extremely Visible Anatomy

Everyone should have some recollection of this man, Slim Goodbody.



Am I the only one uncomfortable with being able to seeing the large intestines of a eunich sporting an afro?

Musings

Whatever happened to the sideways ponytail?

Restaurant rage

Oh god damn you Sonic Drive-In Restaurants!

I am nowhere near your dozens of easy to reach locations!