Saint Drinkenstein

I'm drinking pre-mixed manhattans and I'm bored. So I give you... snippets of conversation.



Me: Oh crap. I only have a twenty. What do you have?
Sancho: A twenty. Dammit.
Me: Fuck, how do we pay. I mean I could..and then you could..
Sancho: We always do this. Why are we retarded.
Me: You're right. We act like they tossed us a couple of marshmallows and were told to start a fire.
Sancho: *chokes on portion of fortune cookie while laughing*
Me: We have money. We use it in exchange for goods and services. We are fucking retarded.




Me: So after we get our Gay Wingman/Straight Wingman t-shirts and I go to a gay club, am I going to get "straight bashed" ? Is that a word? Did I just make that up?
Sancho: I dunno. Probably not. Well... maybe. Some angsty gay boy might get all pissy about it.
Me: Be all "eww, a breeder." And shit?
Sancho: Yeah. And that's when I bust out with "You know what, bitch? Your mom's a breeder. Bam"
Me: Oh snap. It's true and a mom joke!

They's Got Whitey!

So, I was listening to NPR (yes, I know how pretentious that sounds, that's WHY people listen to NPR) in the car on the ride home and they had some study they did. Something like which state is most average/most indicative of the rest of the country. Apparently its Illinois... who knew? Anyway, it seems that number 51 (the state most UNLIKE the rest of the country) is West Virginia. Yeah, I know, no big surprise. It seems that they have an incredibly low percentage of minorities and a high percentage of white folk, etc. I think this calls for West Virginia to change their state slogan, you know on license plates and stuff:

West Virginia: We're Whiter Than You